The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
ellen has an absolutely ridiculous amount of potted shrubbery surrounding her and her guests
i think everyone thinks about becoming a prostitute at one point in their life
6th grade was a hard time for me
This is literally going to be most of our generation in 15 years.
Today in maths, someone behind me said “I’m cold.” and my automatic response was to reply “Hi cold, I’m dad.” and in that moment, I realised. That I, a sixteen year old girl, had become a dad.
Imagine being given a list of all the people who made you into the person you are today. And next to their name you could see the exact personality trait you got because of them.
Did you know that Crush is portrayed “high” because Sea Turtles actually eat jellyfish and the poisons inside the jelly doesn’t actually harm the turtle but instead intoxicates them much like marijuana does for humans.
i just thought it was because he was supposed to be a “surfer dude”